This week I did something that scared the pants off me.
Fortunately not my actual pants, but my figurative pants. My figurative capri pants.
I sang a song. In front of a relative stranger. With my neighborhood-cats-are-crying singing voice.
Why, you may ask, would I inflict this aural abuse on someone?
One of my personal goals for 2013 is to learn to sing. So here’s how it happened…
[Cue flashback wavy screen]I find a teacher and schedule a lesson. He comes over and we start talking about breathing and core muscles and mouth shapes. So far, so good. This isn’t so hard, I think.
Then he asks me to sing a song for him.
Wait, what? But you haven’t taught me anything yet!
It seems he wants to hear my pre-lessonated, peoples’-ears-are-bleeding, singing voice.
I’m not counting on that, and I now face a dilemma.
I’ve been told many times how bad my singing is. Van Gogh’s ordeal is, to me, proof of time travel and the fact that my Terminator self went back to late-19th-Century Holland and sang at the artist while he tried to paint.
I open my mouth and feel mortified. I’m terrified and on the verge of saying, Do you smell smoke? Run away, run away!
And then it hits me.
It doesn’t matter that I’m scared. It’s just a feeling. I can feel it and still sing at this poor unsuspecting guy. I can be afraid and also do the thing that I fear.
And so I do. It’s kind of a moment of truth, because at my age you don’t do that many new things and you definitely don’t do many scary things.
I opt for Dream a Little Dream Of Me and I sing two verses and, contrary to my expectations, the earth doesn’t open up and swallow me whole. My teacher’s face doesn’t look like he’s trying not to laugh/vomit/stop his ears from committing suicide. I survive. He survives. I silently thank the forethought gods for making me close all the windows before my lesson.
Afterwards I feel really happy with myself. I was brave! It felt good to take a chance, to put myself out there. And now I’ve done the most embarrassing part. I can move forward and learn to do something I’ve always wanted to do.
2, 3, 4… MIDNIGHT! Not a sound from the pave–
Yeah okay.
So How About You?
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but felt afraid to try?
Are you letting yourself be held back by embarrassment, or nervousness, or sheer, mortal terror?
You can feel that fear, and still take that step.
I promise you – you will survive without those figurative capri pants.
I’ve become a competitive powerlifter! I’m overweight, but strong, and wanted to compete. I absolutely hate the singlet I have to wear for it, but the fear of everyone looking at me or judging me for my weight is slowly dissipating as I become more and more accomplished. With each competition, I’ve met goals I’ve set for myself and found a group of people who accept me for who I am and who are encouraging and supportive regardless of the number on the scale. It’s been extremely helpful as I battle depression! My favorite quote is “if you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits!” I’ve also overcome my fear of flying to accompany one of my sons to a World Championship competition in Boston and next year I’m taking myself to compete in Germany. After that I’m going to do a Dirty Girl Mud Run! You really don’t know what you can do until you try!
Funny, I sing incredibly well (have been paid to record studio work a few times) and yet I am too afraid to sing in public. As in, I need a few drinks in order to sing. Studio work was great because there was very few people and it was business. But in front of friends, or the general public? I can’t. I’m too afraid of criticism of the one thing I am confident I do well. I have to get over that. I’ll be 43 soon and I’ve let it stop be soooo many times from enjoying my passion of singing. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m jealous that you can actually sing Heather – do it! Let people enjoy your gift. 🙂
after all the waitressing you used to do it shouldnt be hard to be in front of strangers talking /singiing telling jokes. I’ve done tons of public speaking it’s easy as …. well easy as somethig that’s not that hard lol. I agree with Michele I wish I could sing well and you should share your gift.
This is a wonderful post. I have the type of voice you describe. The angels weep. So, I used to wonder if I thought positively, really really positive, maybe I could get up and in front of a crowd and sing the exact song you mention from CATS.
LOL Barb we bad singers must be attracted to that song! 😉
Amazing and beautiful. To step out of your comfort zone and grow. Congratulations and inspiring. We tend to make things much bigger than they really are in our heads and in turn let them take over, and sometimes to the point they cripple us. My thing is public speaking. Even if it’s in front of a group of 5 people. I go hot, sweaty palms, my head does not engage with my mouth, my ears hurts, my heart pounds…so last year I decided to not let it have this huge hold over me and attended an authentic public speaking course and it was tough and wonderful. So stand in front of a group of people and just talk. Also, nothing bad happend and nobody laughed. This is a work in progress for me and the more I step up and do it, the more comfortable I am starting to feel. Thank you for writing about this.
I think you’re so right that we blow things out of proportion in our heads. Good on you for taking steps with public speaking – you’re making progress and that’s really all we can do in life. Yay you! 🙂
Hey Michele, I don’t have such good examples re the being scared point. However, just wanted to congratulate all these people on their achievement and the importance of remembering those moments of sheer joy and gratitude for having done something special…. I also noticed you personally answer every post….nice to see you make the time to do so. Thomas
What a lovely comment Thomas! Thank you on behalf of all of us scary-thing-doers. 🙂
And thank you for making that observation about my answers. This blog would be nothing without the readers and I appreciate every comment. 😀
Michelle, I did something similar. I decided to sing Somewhere over the rainbow with words appropreiate to a meeting I was leading. Forgot I had a retired music teacher in the group! She completemented me on having the courage to do it. I told her it wasn’t courage maybe stupidity! Enjoyed by all with standing O!
That’s what I call audacious, SueAnna! Good for you! You deserve that standing ovation for your gutsiness. 🙂
You reminded me of something that happened when i was teaching. Years ago, I was trying to get my children to sing.They were all afraid so without taking a minute to think about it, *I* sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The girls suddenly found courage to try after I made the first attempt. Sometimes, it’s best to just do it.
So true Flo – overthinking stops us from enjoying many things.
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/AnneWeiss1 BIG TIP! this link can truly help with singing improvement and can be done in the car, when driving. Anne offers “singing classes for the vocally challenged” and she is amazing! ( portland oregon based).
I made a stand when I was 40 to rid myself of all my fears. The first one was the absolute terror of not being able to touch the bottom in a swimming pool or ocean. I took myself to a beach pool one early morning, n-oone else there (it was a rough sea too – so the water was crashing over the side of the pool) and went through the most agonizing hours, yes hours, of my life. I seemed to have an inbuilt radar of when I couldn’t touch the bottom and absolute panic set it. I kept at it, swam to the side of the pool and hung on for dear life – and eventually realized that I would not drown – but it was more than that – it was a knowing that I was in control and whether I panicked or not was in my control. I DID IT! I felt like I had won an Olympic medal. I stayed for awhile and swam laps – ME – swimming lapss of the pool. My next was an abject terror of dogs – I got a German Shepherd, then 2 and I went through all my fears, 1 by 1 and now I can say I am pretty much fearless! Good for you Michelle! Nothing feels as good as being free to be yourself.
Michelle I could have sworn I’d written this piece! (only your descriptions are so much funnier) exactly same ordeal that I am torturing my teacher, partner, stray cats and anyone in the vicinity with…… but learning to sing is so much fun (and often humbling… sorry Chaka Khan – I tried and yes you still do it better! Maybe if I don’t make it as Lead in Les Mis, I can be a judge on Idol….. I swear I can pick ’em!
It is fun, Anne! Good on you for getting past the fear. We may never be amazing but we’ll be WAY better than if we’d never tried. 🙂
I was terrified, scared, afraid and all of the above of water. I had the opportunity to go a cruise to the Bahamas. I wasn’t going to allow fear to control. I took a class on Stress Management and learned some breathing exercises. The Baahamas was beautiful and I had an amazing time my sister/best friend.
How wonderful, Katrina, that you trusted yourself enough to get past the fear. I bet you’ll always remember that holiday.
My palms were sweating as I read this! I share the same fear and lack of vocal talent! Kudos to you for overcoming it! Very inspirational!
If you have a desire to sing, Andrea, then I encourage you to face that fear! You will survive. And then you can sing ‘I Will Survive’! 😉
What an amazing goal! I so can relate to exactly how you felt…so exactly that I am nervous thinking about it! I am facing a fear of starting a new business, Clutter Interrupted, to be launched on April 5th. We will have a radio show and include videos. It is scary getting that ready and putting our voices out there!
Good luck Tracy! The fear is just part of the process. Don’t let it stop you!
What an amazing goal! I so can relate to exactly how you felt…so exactly that I am nervous thinking about it! I am facing a fear of starting a new business, Clutter Interrupted, to be launched on April 5th. We will have a radio show and include videos. It is scary getting that ready and putting our voices out there!
How brave of you! Dream a Little Dream is not an easy song to sing, actually, I’ve sung it in choir and I know. Good luck with your lessons!
Thank you, Anne! It’s very exciting. 🙂
Thank you, Anne! It’s very exciting. 🙂
Actually I would love to sing in public, in a choir, again. Asthma and age have taken a toll and my range is smaller now. Good for you.
I bet you could still have a lovely time with your smaller range, Suzan. Why not give it a try?
I bet you could still have a lovely time with your smaller range, Suzan. Why not give it a try?
I’m terrified of heights – I get vertigo watching fights on rooftops in movies. And I’m tired of being so scared. So one of my goals for 2013 is to go try the local rock-climbing center. Even if I just go once, even if I just do a “baby” wall, I want to do this.
I love this idea Celia! Please let me know how you go. 🙂