This Friday is my wedding anniversary (16 years – yikes!). And Thursday is Valentine’s Day – which to me is about all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Which makes it a good week to think about relationship stuff.
My relationships – romantic, family, friends – are a huge part of my life. They teach me so much about life and people and myself. They support me and allow me to support others. They let me express love and feel loved. I would be lost without the people closest to me.
So I thought that this week I’d share some of the things I’ve learned over the years about relationships.
These lessons have completely changed the way I relate to my loved ones. I now enjoy much happier, better relationships.
I hope these lessons* are helpful to you, too.
*These are lessons for garden-variety relationship improvement. If you have an orchard of relationship woes then please consider professional help.
Good Relationships Lesson #1:
Deal With One Person’s Stuff At A Time
Relationships are easy when no one is upset and no feelings are hurt.
It’s when A forgets the dry cleaning again, and B calls A lazy and inconsiderate, that the trouble starts.
A is stuck on the repeatedly forgotten dry cleaning. B can’t believe they’ve been called unfair names over such a trivial thing.
And as long as each person nurses their respective slights, nothing can be healed.
So how do you get past this kind of stalemate?
The only way through is for one person to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
A has to say, ‘I’m upset about the dry cleaning, but we can come back to that. Let’s talk about why you’re upset/angry.’
And then A has to genuinely listen to B’s concerns and address B’s feelings. Most likely A’s frustration has made them speak harshly, and A can apologize for that.
Even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Or B has to make an effort to understand why A is upset over the dry cleaning, apologize, and only then bring up the unfair names.
Yep, even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Once one person’s feelings have been healed, they’ll feel far more generous about dealing with the other person’s stuff. Until they do, they’ll be resistant.
Let me guess. You’re thinking, Huh – if only my partner would read this and deal with my concerns first, then our relationship would improve.
Well, here’s a nasty little reality check for you…
Relationship Reality Check:
You Can’t Change Them – You Can Only Change Yourself
The only way you will ever get someone to change their behavior is by changing your own.
They will change only if they want to, not because you want them too. Your wanting them to change is more likely to make them dig in their heels than get them walking in the direction you want.
But if you act differently, then you’ll break the pattern, start a new dynamic, shake things up. Your partner will have a whole new set of options open up for them. Voila – new behavior.
Maybe not exactly what you want, but something different to explore.
So, back to lesson 1.
Lesson #1: What I’ve Learned About Relationships
- Regardless of whether you’re A or B, if you’re both upset and you want things to improve then you need to be the one to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
- You can rest assured that once you deal with their stuff, they will deal with your stuff. The fact that you have upset them means they care. That’s a good thing.
- Don’t get hung up on who’s being the bigger person. If you’re reading this then maybe you know more, so be prepared to do more.
What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Think I’m insane?
If you don’t think I’m insane then come back tomorrow for Lesson 2. 🙂
My Name is Regina Ojeda, Am from the United State of America am here to testify in the good name of this great man called dr ikuku for the great thing and happiness he brought back to my life after my love left me for good 2years Praveen never loved me all he wanted from me was just sex and nothing more, He was just taking advantage of me and when he got tired of me he broke up with me I really loved Praveen more than my self because at first he made me feel love and how important I was in his life not knowing all he just wanted from me was just sex, When Praveen broke up with me I was just in a deep pain I cried for months and got tired of this life But I got encourage from friends and giving me hope that everything would be okay I stopped going to work just wanted to be alone I cried out my life but nothing happened, i tried all my possible best to get back Praveen but it never worked out fine, Then after then I just decided to go visit a friend at her place I meant my friend listen to the radio because she was also having similar problem with me then I asked her why is she so focused on the radio she said she is waiting for a program called (How I got my ex)Then I told her to tell me more about the program which she did and I also had interest in the program shortly as we were discussing the program came up, Then Stacey and I focused on the program There was 3 ladies who they said they should give testimonies on how they got back there lover the first lady said she got her lover through the help of this great man call Dr ikuku, When we had that name we where so happy and the other 2 ladies said same thing it was so interesting instantly before the program came to an end I and Stacey contacted Dr ikuku and shared our problem with him he just told us that we need to be calm that it’s one after that one lady just contacted him for help that he has to finish with the lady first before he attends to me because it was me Regina that called him first So Dr ikuku told me not to worry that he assures me that my lover would be back to my arms within 24hours, I was so happy to hear that really my lover Praveen came back to my arms and showed me lover and made me had access to everything he owns in this life am so grateful and same with Stacey she is back with her lover with the help of Dr ikuku, Please Dr ikuku is a man to trust and believe on you can contact him on ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348034458597.
Am am Erica from the united state of america am here to testify in the name of this great man who has brought back happiness into my family after my lover Samuel left me for good 3years for another woman, i really loved Samuel because he was my first love I tried everything within my power to get Samuel back to my life but people I meant just kept on scamming me and lying to me, Then normally on Saturdays I do go out to make my hair and get some stuff, Then I had people discussing at the saloon if they do listen to there radio well, That there is the program (how I got back my ex)And started talking much about Dr ikuku how this man has helped lots of people in bringing back there lover, So immediately I went close to those ladies I meant at the saloon and I explained things to them they said I should try and contact Dr ikuku that he has been the talk of the town and people are really contacting him for help immediately we searched on the internet and read great things about Dr ikuku I now got all Dr ikuku contact instantly at the saloon I gave Dr ikuku a call and I shared my problem with him he just told me not to worry that I should just be happy, He just told me to send him some few details which I did, And then he got back to me that everything would be okay within 36hours I was so happy then Dr ikuku did his work and he did not fail me, My lover Samuel came to me in tears and apologized to me for leaving me in deep pain for good 3years, So he decided to prove that he will never leave me for any reason he made me had access to his account and made me his next of kin on all his will, Now the most perfect thing is that he can’t spend a minute without seeing me or calling me, Am so grateful to dr ikuku for bringing back the happiness which I lack for years, Please contact dr ikuku for help he his a trustworthy man ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell Number +2348034458597.
DO NOT SUFFER YOUR SELF FROM ANY BREAK DOWN, CURSE OR ANY KIND OF SPIRITUAL SET BACK. COME TO DOVA SAGA WHITE MAGIC TEMPLE FOR YOUR HELP.
Authority is king! The spell that I provide is the ultimate fast results, It can be hard to find the exact spell caster you need, when you don’t know what to look for in a professional spell caster. The best spell casters are not easy to pick out! Many hearts are broken every day and many people suffer in vain. Don’t be one of them. Let me help you with your case. My powerful spells can STOP A DIVORCE and much much more! and I am considered one of the most powerful spell casters with white magic. I can help you. I have a big range of powerful spells to use for your needs. What outcome do you want? You might wonder how the spells will affect you? Will the spell be helpful? YES! The spells I cast for you will not have any unwanted side effects such as bad Karma. As long as the intentions are pure out of love as I am sure they are, right? Magic is actually an energy from mother earth that can be controlled. You yourself might even be able to do it after years of practice. Specializing in the fields of Love, Money, Power, Success, Pregnancy, Sickness, Luck and Witch Craft. I can help you with any problem or wish that you might have.
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hello my Tessy this is the most sweetest story of my life to get what you have being look for my life was almost gone I live in newyork with my fiance I was live with him so we so much love our self so oneday I lift home to go see my mother who just came back form London so I now forgot to tell that I was going to my mother house so I now came late to the house to fine out that my fiance was with another girl so I was surprise for to be sorry for what he did he start shouting at me so I told him that what is wrong with him he now slap me and told that I should shut up I was surprise about is action so I was still staying at is house so another day he came home with two girls so I was look at him so oneday he just came form was tell me that I should live is house that he now hate me that regret the knowing me so I now told what did I do he said not but he as now see the woman that he now love I try to tell that he was the one that Dis virgen me so he this how you are going to pay me back after every thing I did for you so I now go to my mother house in texas when I now got there I saw people talking about this great man so I was at home watching the television when I saw a woman name Nance give her testimony about this great that help her to get her love back on that every day about six people were talk about this great man that help than to get there love back so I now told my mother about this she now told that she forget to tell me that there is a great man that have being help a lot of people that this great man help her friend in London to get her husband that have left her for many years so I got contact her my mother friend she now give me is contact when I now contacted him he now told me that I should not worry that every thing is going to alright that my lover is going to come in the next 24hours that he is going to change and he is going to RESPECT me so as he said the next 24hours I saw my fiance come to my mother house pleading to me that I should forgive him I now forgive him no he as change next month is my wedding on the 6 of may 2013 thanks ogogodu so this great man brought happiness to me if you also need is help contact him on is email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or ogogodutempleofsolution@hotmail.com call him on this number +2348078999655.
thanks
name Tessy
country USA
I will love to share my testimony with all people because I never thought I would have another chance with my boyfriend, the man I wanted to marry left me for another woman, and when I called him, he never picked my calls, he deleted me on his facebook account and then set the status to having a girlfriend with the other chick. I was devastated. I went to three spell casters before hector and I had really lost hope. I lost a lot of money with them and got no results. so when I came to hector I was really leery of him and didn’t think he could help me. I though it is too good to be true, because all the other spell casters were supposedly good and none of them helped me. I saw the testimonials and read the other testimonials and decided to get the consultation. he said he could help me, but my chances of getting my ex were very low and he didn’t recommend it at all. But I insisted that he at least give me the chance to work with him and try and if it didn’t work, I wouldn’t be upset and I would move on with my life. He agreed. Since he is in jersey and I’m in nyc, I decided I would go in person to have my spells cast. he is a really sweet and gentle man, when I met him I was really surprised. he looks very young, and I had my doubts whether or not he would be able to help me. But I figured I came all that way and I said I would try so I tried it. He called a spirit to talk with me and do the work, it was a woman spirit and when it came it totally transformed hector’s face. that is when I thought to myself that it might just work. the spirit gave me some advice and did the spells. I had a separation spell and a reunion spell done. the spirit said it would take a while for my ex to leave his new girl but once he did, he would come to me very quickly. She gave me some things to take home and do. I did them, but I was really nervous. I think I messed up a few times and I told t and she said just keep going and I would be fine. so I did. it was like 6 or 7 weeks later and I saw that my ex unblocked me from facebook. I saw he had changed his status again to single. so I was super excited because I took this to mean that he had split up with the other girl. about 10 days after that my ex called me. At first, it was weird between us. he wanted to see me. so I went to meet up with him. he didn’t ask me back then. I got very anxious and told t, and she said to stay calm and everything would turn out okay. So I did the best I could although I was still worried. We met up a few more times after that, and still he didn’t ask me back out. so I got a consultation with hector and he said to expect my ex to ask me back out within two weeks from the consultation. I listened, but I wasn’t sure it would happen. then it was almost 2 weeks later, and I though, damn, hector was wrong. But the next day (there was like 2 days left from it being 2 weeks) my ex called and we got together. He asked me if I would be willing to try our relationship again, which of course I said yes. that was about 3 weeks ago, and so far we have been doing okay, we still have a lot of things to work out, but I am very happy. hector is the real deal and I am so glad that I found him and I recommend him to any one who needs help. thank you so much hector you saved my life! Cammy
Reply? you can as we contact her email jujumanlovespell@gmail.com.
I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect I want to thank priestess Yewa for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until I loosed my boyfriend, I required help until I found greatpriestessyewa a female spell caster, And she cast a love spell for me, and she assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for long, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to devote the rest of his life with me. Priestessyewa released him up to know how much I loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have to share together. As I’m writing this testament right now I’m the cheeriest girl on earth and me and my fiancé is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.
All thanks goes to priestessyewa for the excessive work that she has done for me. Below is her email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as she has done mine for me, she will definitely help you too. greatpriestessyewa@gmail.com.
My name is Xavi Rita from Spain, I was barren for 7 years after marriage, I tried so many means to get pregnant but it never worked, until one day I saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr. Awase help one woman called Anna Yohane from Australia after 10 years of barrenness, I just decided to give Dr. Awase a try, he instructed me on what to do and I comply without hesitation, to my greatest surprise after 3 weeks later I was pregnant and it was on believe able. Now I have a two months baby boy. Thanks great Dr. Awase. If u need help his email is drawasesolutionhome@gmail.com.
My name is clria I am from New York , i was I a relationship with kelly and will love and cherish our self for 5good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14 a day I can call a lovers day will both had misunderstanding because I answered a call with a guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I feet the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that help her sister out in getting there relationship back but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love Kelly very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that make me a happy girl again, to say it all my ex come back to me with much lover and caring heart…i am testify to this great spell caster……
if you need his help you can contact priest Oduma via email spellofsolution@gmail.com OR call him on his phone number +2348153363047.
fred
I want to express my gratitude for the extensive work you have done over the past week. It was a pleasant feeling a lot of warmth and peace flowed through to me I believe. I felt immediately calmer when the you cast the magic spell and the feeling stayed with me through-out the next couple of weeks. I wish to convey that I have received my results this morning. I was shy to return th talisman to nature and I must tell you I could feel a pulse from it. Or a slow rhythmic juddering. A vibration even, to the extent I can hold it; and I feel the imprint of the vibration in my hand when I take it out again, as this is my first ever experience doing anything like this I feel the need to record every moment of it. I look forward to the next chapter in this my spell and help work.DR CHECKthank you indeed.templeofloved@gmail.com.
HI AM JULIO DA Sanchez’s, Am from Madrid Spain. with this great tears of joy and happiness in my heart today I want to give an unlimited thanks to this man Called DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com and also share my testimonies with this great man on how I was able to get my husband and my kids back to my arms once again after two years and after I thought all hope was lost in getting back my family.well and happy today I have my family back and I want to say to the whole world what would I have done if not for DR ABULU that I saw a testimony share on the internet by miss MICHELL FROM AUSTRALIA and I also contacted this man for help and he also did my own for me and to day am back with my husband |ALONSO DA SANCHEZ, S and my kids are happy with us. so I want to am very happy today and I want to say to everyone on this site that I will always remain thankful to this man DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com for all this he has done for me, thanks to you once again DR for am grateful to you and will always be.
hello to every one I want to testify of the good thing priest Oduma have do for me,
i was in a relationship for 5years happy with my partner few weeks to our wedding he came back another woman to the house and said that he is longer interested in the relationship and ask me to live his house I cry all day looking for help I have contacted so many spell caster no result one day I was on the internet when I came are cross a testimony on how priest Oduma helped some one to get back his lover so I gave I try and it work out for me am so happy to have my lover back to my self again thanks once again priest Oduma for helping me to bring back my lover if you are passing through the same problem contact priest Oduma on his email adders Spellofsolution@gmail.com OR call him on his cellphone +2348153363047.
Sandra kin
country :USA
my name is glory I want to thank this great man that help me to get back my love I was live with my fiance in usa for many years so we were live happily so oneday he can home late I was asking him were did he go he told that I should get out of is way so that night I did not worry about it so the next day he told me that why was I asking him were did he go he now starter shout to me I was surprise because he had never shout for more 5 years now so this next day he now told me that I should go and pack my things and live is house I did not no that he was going to take another lady to the house so the next seconds I saw a car in my house it was she so she and my fiance park my thing out side so I now want to my friend house I was now staying there one day I was listen to the radio when I had a woman giving is testimony about this man that this man help her to get her love so on that day about 10 people were thank the man so I now say that I am go to contact him so the next week I was watching the television when I saw a man that him this man that this man help him to get is love back so that every day I now contact him so he now told me that I am going to celebrate this Easter with my love that in the next 24hour that my love is going to be in my house pleading to me so I he said it in the next 24 hour I saw my fiance coming to my pleading to that I should for give him I now forgive him now we are happy now and now he as propose to me now thank the this great man is name is ogogodu if you is help contact him on this email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com if you want to talk to him call him on this number +2348078999655.
I had to write back and say what an amazing experience I had with Doc.
obodo. I was desperate for a kind and gentle man to enter my life when I.
ran into your website templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk doing some surfing. I
had a phone +2348155425481 consultation with Doc obodo and I found him to.
be so helpful, gentle and reassuring. Within a couple of weeks, I met a guy.
in a dance club who really swept me off my feet. I’ve been with him for.
several months now and we seem to be the perfect couple. All it took was.
one visit to Doc obodo and my life is as good as it has ever been. I need
to thank Doc obodo for caring about me enough to send me such a wonderful.
and powerful spell.
True Love spell.
Life was colorless before Dr. Wicca helped me with a love spell to reunite with the mother of my children. He also help me in getting a new job. After talking to him on phone, I just knew that he would help me. The result of your love spell came so fast within 48 hours, just like you said! My will to live and enjoy life is back now that my family is saved. I will never feel lonely again. Thank you for bringing my wife back to me!
Thank you so much Dr. Wicca, without you I wouldn’t have gotten the new job and also she wouldn’t come back..I will recommended Dr. Wicca to anyone who are having ruffle time in their love life, looking for a better job, lottery spells, business spell. You can contact him on: dr.wiccahightemple@gmail.com.
Matt, UK
My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when I went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell.I’m now happy & a living testimony because the man I had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when I met this spell caster, I told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first I was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but I just gave it a try. And in 7 days when I returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it because the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all I wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is egogotemple@yahoo.com.
My life is back! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster priest oluba I really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life I will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com.
).incase you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is (traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com.
I was heartbroken that my husband moved in with another woman so I had a spell to bring him back home and stop the affair he had with her. In just 1 week he left her and went to live at the motel. He called to say so and get news of the kids. The discussion was pleasant, as if he was changing to become the man I knew when we got married. It was exactly as you said…. Now he’s back home and is absolutely crazy about me. I am so thrilled by this spell that I cant find the right words to say how I feel right now. All I can decently say is that you changed my life priest Oduma and saved the most important thing in my life: my family thanks to you sir priest Oduma for bring back my husband home, if you passing true the same problems in your home contact priest Oduma for help @ Spellofsolution@gmail.com or call him on his cell phone +2348153363047.
kim frank
country: canada
PEGGY NORBERT | 1 min ago
“I am thanking Priest okija7demons daily for His faithfulness and for moving in my husband’s heart. I found out about his affair and by okija7demons race alone, have been able to lovingly walk alongside him as he’s struggled to end his relationship, which he was finally able to do. We began counseling with a Priest okija. There’s a long road ahead, but priest okija has placed a promise in my heart that He’s going to restore my husband to Himself, to me, our marriage, and our family. To God be the glory priest okija has bring back my husband back home just last 2 days am very happy today for shearing this testimony , you can as well contact him for your own testimony..email him okija7demons@gmail.com” (okija7demons@gmail.com
mrs caroline smith
What a beautiful and amazing testimony on a good spell caster!!!
My name is mrs caroline smith,i live in USA ,and I’m happily married with a
lovely husband and three children.I had a very big problem with my husband few
months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and
my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to
bring her back.I discussed it with a very good friend
of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.
“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able
to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with
his email,which is as follows.”Prophetorishija@gmail.com. I
never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice
than to follow his advice,because i never dream t of loosing my lovely
Husband.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed
with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my husband back a day
after.so i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my husband called
me to inform me that she was coming back…..So Amazing!! That’s how i got
my back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger
than husband how it was before.
One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me
that problems like this,can always be solved by okija7demons. So! my advice for you out there is to
visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any
condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy
family.you can contact him okija7demons@gmail.com
My name is jennifer olte from USA this is to testify that priest omigodo is a great spell caster. The father of my two kids john came back to me in just two days after priest omigodo cast a binding love spell for me to return my lover back, now he is back with his great spell if you are in need of any kind of spell please contact priest omigodo on his email : templeofsolution@gmail.com or call priest omigodo on his personal phone number for help and advise for any problem on +2348079367204 it is %100 sure of positive result.