This Friday is my wedding anniversary (16 years – yikes!). And Thursday is Valentine’s Day – which to me is about all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Which makes it a good week to think about relationship stuff.
My relationships – romantic, family, friends – are a huge part of my life. They teach me so much about life and people and myself. They support me and allow me to support others. They let me express love and feel loved. I would be lost without the people closest to me.
So I thought that this week I’d share some of the things I’ve learned over the years about relationships.
These lessons have completely changed the way I relate to my loved ones. I now enjoy much happier, better relationships.
I hope these lessons* are helpful to you, too.
*These are lessons for garden-variety relationship improvement. If you have an orchard of relationship woes then please consider professional help.
Good Relationships Lesson #1:
Deal With One Person’s Stuff At A Time
Relationships are easy when no one is upset and no feelings are hurt.
It’s when A forgets the dry cleaning again, and B calls A lazy and inconsiderate, that the trouble starts.
A is stuck on the repeatedly forgotten dry cleaning. B can’t believe they’ve been called unfair names over such a trivial thing.
And as long as each person nurses their respective slights, nothing can be healed.
So how do you get past this kind of stalemate?
The only way through is for one person to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
A has to say, ‘I’m upset about the dry cleaning, but we can come back to that. Let’s talk about why you’re upset/angry.’
And then A has to genuinely listen to B’s concerns and address B’s feelings. Most likely A’s frustration has made them speak harshly, and A can apologize for that.
Even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Or B has to make an effort to understand why A is upset over the dry cleaning, apologize, and only then bring up the unfair names.
Yep, even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Once one person’s feelings have been healed, they’ll feel far more generous about dealing with the other person’s stuff. Until they do, they’ll be resistant.
Let me guess. You’re thinking, Huh – if only my partner would read this and deal with my concerns first, then our relationship would improve.
Well, here’s a nasty little reality check for you…
Relationship Reality Check:
You Can’t Change Them – You Can Only Change Yourself
The only way you will ever get someone to change their behavior is by changing your own.
They will change only if they want to, not because you want them too. Your wanting them to change is more likely to make them dig in their heels than get them walking in the direction you want.
But if you act differently, then you’ll break the pattern, start a new dynamic, shake things up. Your partner will have a whole new set of options open up for them. Voila – new behavior.
Maybe not exactly what you want, but something different to explore.
So, back to lesson 1.
Lesson #1: What I’ve Learned About Relationships
- Regardless of whether you’re A or B, if you’re both upset and you want things to improve then you need to be the one to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
- You can rest assured that once you deal with their stuff, they will deal with your stuff. The fact that you have upset them means they care. That’s a good thing.
- Don’t get hung up on who’s being the bigger person. If you’re reading this then maybe you know more, so be prepared to do more.
What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Think I’m insane?
If you don’t think I’m insane then come back tomorrow for Lesson 2. 🙂
Out of respect for you and your spells I must make this testimony know to all. I’ve been to other spell casters and psychic readers before, but in my opinion you are the best. I just wished I came to you earlier, but hey I got the best for last and that is Lord Mazuka. My ex was gone for a year and I went everywhere and other spell casters for help but no result until my friend introduce me to Lord Mazuka. After that Love Spell and Break Up Spell was done I finally gotten calls from him out of no where within 12 hours. Him and the other lady broke up and we are going on a vacation together… Thanks and I love you for helping me. To everyone who is looking for a real spell caster contact lordmazukawhitemagicspell@gmail.com and he will help you……….Greg.
Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart.
That was my experience late last year. but thank god today I am happy with him again. all thanks to DR AKPAKPA, I was nearly loosing hope until I saw an article on how DR AKPAKPA could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, I said to my self. I contacted him via email: afiamensolutionshrine@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. I have promised to share the good news as long as I live.
BESTY ADAMS
My name is Zane Albert from Germany I was dumped by the one I love so much. after 5years of our relationship but with the help of priest omigodo a great spell caster who cast a spell to bring him back for me in just 48hous thanks very much am now happy with the one I love and I want to assure you that the spell is 100% sure of positive results of his spell. if you have the same problem or any kind of problem please contact him on his email templeofsolution@gmail.com or call his number +2348079367204.
omigodo brought back my lover in just 2days.
My Name is faith, I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr Moko has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give he a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (mokospellcaster@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Moko for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact he today on his mail (mokospellcaster@gmail.com ) and he will also help you as well.”
Am now happy happy and happy, I believe Dr olumba now, After so many comments on how Dr Olumba helped alot of people got back their Ex, Jobs and properties, I contacted him and tell my story of how a lady broke my relationship, Been married for 8yrs and with 3kids, suddenly my Husband moved out and told me never to contact him again, I was so heart broken, depressed and sad, after all the story, Dr Olumba told me to put my mind at rest and told me that all my problems will be solved in 48hrs , I was still hoping until Dr called me again for my husbands picture and told me, I will have to get some items and I did all he asked me, on Sunday morning David came home by himself and knelt down to beg me, weeping bitterly and asked for forgiveness, I did forgive him and I told Dr olumba about everything and he said all he wants from me is to share the good news with the world so people out there , here is a prove that real casters are still online, for any kind of problems that need solutions, contact Dr Olumba : olumbaspiritualproblemsolver@gmail.com or cell number +2348169108089.
Pamela (Canada)
Hello everybody my name is kailer want to give thanks to almighty God for using dr igbalu in bringing back my love that has left me for 3 years without notice, I was watching television when I saw a lady name parmela was giving thanks to dr igbalu for helping her to get her love back so I decided to contact him, to know if he can help me, when I contacted him I told him everything and he told me not to worry about anything that my love will surely be back to my arms within the next 48hours, then I said ok let me waching and see, in the next 48hours which he said I unbeleivable I got a call from my love he was pleading and begging me to forgive him that he did not know what came over him that he is very very sorry.then I could not beleive what I was seeing I thought he it was a dream, because how could somebody who have left me for 3years come back to me within 48hours then I realized that it’s not a dream that this is reality I was so surprised and was full of joy, and I accepted his appology, within 5hours after he has called me and plead with me he came to my house all the way from mexico and he was still pleading to me for forgiveness then I told him that I have forgiven him he promised not to hurt me for any reason, the must suprising part of it was that he gave me access to his bank account to assure me that he is not going to leave me for any reason and now we both are living together in the usa now and we are living happily, i thank you sir continue to do your good work for people and may God give you long life so that you will be able to help people, and thank you parmela for making people to be aware of this great man so that he can help people as he have helped you and helped me too, God bless, incase you need help from dr igbalu you can contact him through his private mail: igbalutempleofsolution@gmail.com.
Name: kailer
Country: usa
My Name is paul.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum because I never thought I will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl I want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man.., When I called her she never picked my calls, She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from engage to Single…when I went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this because I cant get myself anymore, my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all I could do to have her back to all did not work out until I met a Man when I Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how I lost my job…he told me he going to help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when I heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and I will see the results in the next couple of days..then I travel back to Germany the following day and I called him when I got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells, he said am going to see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday.My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done..she said, she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when I heard that from her and when we ended the call, i called the man and told him my my girl friend called and he said I haven’t seen anything yet… he said I will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday, they called me at my place of work that I should resume work on Monday and they going to compensate me for the time limit I have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape, i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and I have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world, the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to.
priest_gbenga.magic_temple@priest.com, I cant give out his number because he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck. his web site is http://www.priestgbengamagictemple.webs.com.
PAUL MULLER
Hello, Dr.Clifford I want to thank you for the re-uniting spell you did for me, my wife is back to me after using your returning love spell and she said there is no need for the divorce again, thank you so much, I we never forget this great happiness you brought to my life. if you are in need of this powerful spell caster you can reach him through this Email address: cliffordspellcastertemple@gmail.com, I must tell this to the whole world that you took a sad man like me and make me happy.
Mr Don Davidson.
Contact his email address: cliffordspellcastertemple@gmail.com.
Virgolina
My husband has been home for over a year. He had a child with the other woman. Before he was home I contact Dr AVALA about the problem and promise He promise to help me solve the problem just 4days it all happen like a dream which I never believe that it will happen. Soon after my husband’s return I was pregnant. We now have a healthy baby boy. His birth has had a part in helping our marriage heal and grow. We also have the other child in our lives, which has also been a tremendous blessing to me Dr AVALA is a man faithful.”EMAIL HIM:avalaspellcaster44@gmail.com (Washington).
Fuck u
like am dreaming when I heard that from her and when we ended the call, i called the man and told him my wife called and he said I haven’t seen anything yet… he said I will also get my job back in 2 days time..and when its Sunday, they called me at my place of work that I should resume working on Monday and they going to compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape, i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and I have my job back too, This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world, the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him on this e-mail; templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk..or call him on his number +2348155425481.
am back and better.
I promised to tell the world about him that’s why am posting this here…all thanks to DR JADULA…there are so many fake spell casters out there I was more than scammed heartbroken and almost gave up all hope until I met with him…now am so happy…
If you have issues mail jadulaspelltemple@gmail.com…he sure would help you he casts all kind of spells.
I have been married for 5years and my marriage was great, but few months ago our romantic feeling was going down everyday there was no romantic. I was scared that I am loosing my husband to someone else, so I search on the internet and I found a spiritualist that help in spiritual cleaning and divination to intervene in my love Life whit the necessary spiritual cleaning, everything was alright again in my Life. DR Ogun I met on internet help me out whit in 48hours, passion and romantic was again in our home, our marriage is stronger than ever, you can contact him in on his Email address ogunspiritualspellcastertemple@gmail.com… specializing in the fields of Love, Money, Power,
Success,
Sickness, Pregnancy, Marriage, Job, Protection, Lottery,
Court Case, Luck. etc.
I had doubts about magic spells after purchasing many spells that never worked and actually decided to never buy a spell again. I have tried different casters.. Some of them never answered me after I paid and were obvious scammers, some really cast a spell but for some reason it didn’t work. Then I saw a video on youtube with a person who was mentioning she had results with dr kabaka. Despite the suspicions I gave his spells a last try. It’s probably the best decision I ever made in my life because it worked and my lover came back with me. If you’re looking for a good spellcaster look no further, kabakaspell@gmail.com surpass all other spellcasters, believe me! his mobile number is +2348169750752.
THE GREAT POWERFUL SPELL CASTER THAT.
BRING BACK MY EX BOYFRIEND.
I just want to say thank you prophet amed for all you have done for me.
He is back now. That very powerful spell caster STOP THE DIVORCE – and get my ex boyfriend back.
My name is Joy Philip, from Canada. I never believed in love.
spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when I went for a business summit.
november last year. I meant a man who’s name is PROPHET DR AMED.
he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone,
lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or.
luck spell.I’m now happy & a living testimony because the man I had wanted to.
marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because.
our
relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was.
against us and he had no good paying job. So when I met this spell caster,
i
told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At
first I was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but I just gave it a try.
And
in 7 days when I returned to Canada, my boyfriend(now husband) called me by.
himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with.
his
mother and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I
didn’t believe it because the spell caster only asked for my name and my.
boyfriends name and all I wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now.
and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job.
and
our lives became much better.in case you are in any situation you can contact.
prophet amed at his email solutionhome39@yahoo.com or his personal cell +2347053375151.
Thank you for all your help prophet.
My ex-boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness.I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married.once again thank you True Gift spell.you are truly talented and gifted.Email: truegiftspell@gmail.com is the only answer.he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man truegiftspell@gmail.com.
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Going on 45 years now, still married to the same guy. Each of us is always thinking about the other. How can I make him/her smile? What would he/she like today that I could do? Have I told you lately that I love you? Just “happening” to brush up against him/her as we walk past one another. Can’t help with more since I’ve never felt hurt and angry at my dh. Perhaps, some people don’t know each other very well before they wed?
Wow Flo it sounds like you guys are a wonderful couple! Congrats on 45 years – amazing! ♡
Wow Flo it sounds like you guys are a wonderful couple! Congrats on 45 years – amazing! ♡
Good reminder. Coming up on 19 years together, sometimes we forget to take turns! Now if someone would just come along and prune my orchard I’d be really happy. 🙂 Thanks!
Congrats on 19 years Beth! ♡♡
Well, it’s good advice. But I still say if my partner would just do what I say things would go a lot smoother…. 😉
LOL Stacey – I know EXACTLY what you mean! 🙂
Agree 🙂
Thanks Andrea. I was starting to think everyone had ticked the ‘insane’ box! 😉