This Friday is my wedding anniversary (16 years – yikes!). And Thursday is Valentine’s Day – which to me is about all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Which makes it a good week to think about relationship stuff.
My relationships – romantic, family, friends – are a huge part of my life. They teach me so much about life and people and myself. They support me and allow me to support others. They let me express love and feel loved. I would be lost without the people closest to me.
So I thought that this week I’d share some of the things I’ve learned over the years about relationships.
These lessons have completely changed the way I relate to my loved ones. I now enjoy much happier, better relationships.
I hope these lessons* are helpful to you, too.
*These are lessons for garden-variety relationship improvement. If you have an orchard of relationship woes then please consider professional help.
Good Relationships Lesson #1:
Deal With One Person’s Stuff At A Time
Relationships are easy when no one is upset and no feelings are hurt.
It’s when A forgets the dry cleaning again, and B calls A lazy and inconsiderate, that the trouble starts.
A is stuck on the repeatedly forgotten dry cleaning. B can’t believe they’ve been called unfair names over such a trivial thing.
And as long as each person nurses their respective slights, nothing can be healed.
So how do you get past this kind of stalemate?
The only way through is for one person to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
A has to say, ‘I’m upset about the dry cleaning, but we can come back to that. Let’s talk about why you’re upset/angry.’
And then A has to genuinely listen to B’s concerns and address B’s feelings. Most likely A’s frustration has made them speak harshly, and A can apologize for that.
Even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Or B has to make an effort to understand why A is upset over the dry cleaning, apologize, and only then bring up the unfair names.
Yep, even while feeling hurt and angry about their own stuff.
Once one person’s feelings have been healed, they’ll feel far more generous about dealing with the other person’s stuff. Until they do, they’ll be resistant.
Let me guess. You’re thinking, Huh – if only my partner would read this and deal with my concerns first, then our relationship would improve.
Well, here’s a nasty little reality check for you…
Relationship Reality Check:
You Can’t Change Them – You Can Only Change Yourself
The only way you will ever get someone to change their behavior is by changing your own.
They will change only if they want to, not because you want them too. Your wanting them to change is more likely to make them dig in their heels than get them walking in the direction you want.
But if you act differently, then you’ll break the pattern, start a new dynamic, shake things up. Your partner will have a whole new set of options open up for them. Voila – new behavior.
Maybe not exactly what you want, but something different to explore.
So, back to lesson 1.
Lesson #1: What I’ve Learned About Relationships
- Regardless of whether you’re A or B, if you’re both upset and you want things to improve then you need to be the one to deal with the other person’s stuff first.
- You can rest assured that once you deal with their stuff, they will deal with your stuff. The fact that you have upset them means they care. That’s a good thing.
- Don’t get hung up on who’s being the bigger person. If you’re reading this then maybe you know more, so be prepared to do more.
What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Think I’m insane?
If you don’t think I’m insane then come back tomorrow for Lesson 2. 🙂
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for six years now. We recently have been seeing a fertility specialist. We have done one IUI with no luck. My husband has a sperm count which goes up and down,(the doctor has recomended him taking the Proxeed supplement which he is doing going on the second month now. He also has low motility and morphology. The fertility treatments are already getting so expensive, we may have to stop real soon. The doctor has recomended that we I take injections of HMG to bring on ovalutation, followed by another IUI. (IVF is totally out of the question because of the expense. Getting to my question now, How is this going to help or will this be effective when it’s my husband who has low sperm count? It just seems to me that if the sperm are unable to fertilize the egg it will not matter how many are produced. I am was so confused until I contacted this powerful spell caster called DaDDY ALOMAJESELE who help me with his oracle spell which he obtained from his father who he always called ALOMA, I was help by his spell powers to conceive and now I am gave birth to a bouncing baby boy called LENNIS WART, we are happily settled in our family and glad to have this spell caster as our father, thank you SIR DAddy ALOMAJESELE for helping me get pregnant, you can reach him now at DaDDY_YOYOspelltemple@hotmail.com.
by john on a spell blog.
My name is John Morrison, my family and I live together live in Canada.It was after seven years I got to discover that my wife was unfaithful to me.I didn’t know what was going on at first but as she got deep in the affair with her new lover, I felt that our marriage was on the rocks.I notice that she no longer light up when I touch her or kiss her in her neck and her chest because she really liked it when I did that, she also usually get naked in front of me but when she started seeing that guy she stopped it.I remember asking her if I have done anything that makes her feel irritated when I am around her then she gives silly excuses that she has been feeling stressed up and that she need space for a while.I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy is going on.I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on.And in a week time he brought me prove that my wife that I have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with her high school lover.I had picture of her walking out a of a restaurant with him and many other photo of them kissing in public like she will never be caught by someone that knows she is my wife.I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together she could this to me.That same night I showed her the pictures that I got from my private investigator.She didn’t look at it before saying, that she is seeing someone and she know that I just found out about it.Then she said that she is in love with him.At that moment, I didn’t know if to kill myself or to kill her but the button line is that if I was going to kill anyone it was going to be me because I was so much in love with her to even think of thinking to hurt her.As time when on she asked for a divorce and got it and even got custody of our daughter and I was all alone by myself.I just couldn’t get my mind off my wife and my daughter all I could think about was getting them back and we living as every family should.For a year I tried all I could to get her back with the help of my seven year old daughter.Even at that all effect was in vain, I used the help of her friend but turned out all bad.I know most people don’t believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result I most say was impressive.And I know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER HARRISSON really made my life much better because he gave me my family back.He didn’t ask me to pay for what he did for me all I was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and believe that he had the power to help me.Like he said, he was going to do something that will make her reset her love and affection for me just as it has always been.My wife told me she woke up and realized that she should have never left me that I am all she needs.To make thing clear, her life with her high school lover was great before HARRISSON casted the spell they had no disagreement on anything.The guy said it himself that why she broke up with him is something he can not explain just that she woke up on the same bad with him after a very romantic night saying she is breaking up with him for no reason at all.Only HARRISSON can do such a thing contact him to solve your problem with his email Dr.j.o.harrissontemple@gmail. com
Am short of words I don’t know were to start from in giving this testimony, first of all my name is Roland am from USA I want to testify the great thing Dr okpa did for me I never taught I could get Miranky back to my life after she left me for 2years despite I was the one who did her wrong, Miranky was the love of my life and which she still is, and which she will always be till death do both of us apart, i hurted her so much to the extend that I drove her out of my house just because I was dating this so called kayshun who is a devil, Kayshun messed my life up, I never taught I could be happy again then that was how I now realized that Miranky is the best among all ladies when I was with her things were going right the way I want it but I foolishly chased her away, after the encounter between me and Kayshun, then I now have to look for Miranky because I believe she is the only one who is been destined to be mine I called her for months pleading and begging her to forgive me that I did not know what came over me. I pleaded with her for good 8 months after the breakup between me and her which I caused in 2years but she decided not to accept me but I know she was right but am willing to stay with her love her and promise not to hurt her for any reason, but she did not understand so I have been trying to get her back to my life, but there has been no way to do this.there was a day when I was watching television, then I saw a man named Harry giving testimony to the world on how dr okpa brought back his wife with 2kids, then when I heard this I was so surprised then I decided to contact dr okpa to see if he can help me. when I contacted him he told me not to worry that she will surely come back to me in the next 24 hours, so that was how I waited to see what will happen, the next morning surprisingly I got a call from her she was crying and telling me that she was sorry for not accepting me on time, I was so surprised, so that was how I got Miranky back to my life and now we are living happily than ever before. Dr okpa I thank you so much if not for you what would I have done, sir you are great, if you want dr okpa to help you like as he has helped me you can contact him Via okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186.
Am just short of words I don’t know how to start this, But first I want to give thanks to Almighty God for directing Dr ikuku to my way, Well am Ashley James from the United State Of America am here to testify in the good name of this great man called Dr ikuku for what he has done for me after my lover Dennis broke up with me it was like this word has come to an end I tried all my possible best to make sure I get Dennis back to my life but all ways failed, People which I contacted kept on scamming me and lying to me and telling me things that does not exist, So then I left everything to God and prayed he should direct me to the right person who would help me bring back Dennis.Until this lovely day when I was just sitting alone thinking about Dennis, Then I decided to have a stroll then I later entered a shop to get some stuff when I meant a young lady discussing with her friend that Her lover who left her for good 6 years has been back through the help of one great spell caster called Dr ikuku I listened to there discussion and I decided to meet them up and fell in tears and shared my problem with her and beg her to help me, When she saw my tears she could not bear it she just told me not to worry that she would give Dr ikuku’s details, So then she gave me full details Of Dr ikuku, i immediately contacted him and shared my problem with him, He told me not to worry that he assures me that my lover would be back to my arms with 24 hours, When he said that statement I was so happy then I gave Dr ikuku a chance to prove himself, And to God who created me Dr ikuku did not fail me my lover came to my arms within 24 hours without any delay, Am just so happy and joyful that Dr ikuku has brought back my broken relation for 3years back, Now Dennis decided to prove that he would never leave me for any reason, He propose to me and we have out wedding coming up Next two week Saturday He made me had access to everything he owns, His ATM, and is bank account and also got me the new model Benz 4matic, Am just so happy please I will like you people to contact the right man for help he is straight forward and trustworthy you can contact him on ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com Or Cell Number +2348034458597.
great spell caster says:
i want to thank God for using dr okakagbe as my source of saviour after 2year of joblessness and my lover left me alone for 2 years, Have just been heart broken until I go in contact with dr okakagbe after I saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same dr donkbaba, So I decided to get in contact with him and when I told him all my problems he laughed and said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 3days time.Exactly the 3rd day my ex lover called me I was shocked and what surprise me the most was that a company I applied for over 4month called me and said I should resume work as soon as possible.Am so grateful to dr donkbaba if you wish in contacting him ACOGBESPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM or is cell number +23481516885231.
Am just short of words I don’t know how to start this, But first I want to give thanks to Almighty God for directing Dr ikuku to my way, Well am Ashley James from the United State Of America am here to testify in the good name of this great man called Dr ikuku for what he has done for me after my lover Dennis broke up with me it was like this word has come to an end I tried all my possible best to make sure I get Dennis back to my life but all ways failed, People which I contacted kept on scamming me and lying to me and telling me things that does not exist, So then I left everything to God and prayed he should direct me to the right person who would help me bring back Dennis.Until this lovely day when I was just sitting alone thinking about Dennis, Then I decided to have a stroll then I later entered a shop to get some stuff when I meant a young lady discussing with her friend that Her lover who left her for good 6 years has been back through the help of one great spell caster called Dr ikuku I listened to there discussion and I decided to meet them up and fell in tears and shared my problem with her and beg her to help me, When she saw my tears she could not bear it she just told me not to worry that she would give Dr ikuku’s details, So then she gave me full details Of Dr ikuku, i immediately contacted him and shared my problem with him, He told me not to worry that he assures me that my lover would be back to my arms with 24 hours, When he said that statement I was so happy then I gave Dr ikuku a chance to prove himself, And to God who created me Dr ikuku did not fail me my lover came to my arms within 24 hours without any delay, Am just so happy and joyful that Dr ikuku has brought back my broken relation for 3years back, Now Dennis decided to prove that he would never leave me for any reason, He propose to me and we have out wedding coming up Next two week Saturday He made me had access to everything he owns, His ATM, and is bank account and also got me the new model Benz 4matic, Am just so happy please I will like you people to contact the right man for help he is straight forward and trustworthy you can contact him on ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com Or Cell Number +2348034458597.
Hello viewers, I want to use this little of my testimony to tell everybody about how Dr. Moses help me make my home…
My name is Anna from Australia, to caught it all shot I was having a family problems my husband left me because I was not able to give him a child, I have know other solution than to start sicking for help praying and fasting for God to help me bring back my husband and to have a child of my own, so one day I saw Dr. Moses name on the internet with his email address (thegodsofsolution@gmail.com) when I saw this email address I never loose any hope again, I contacted him for help, to end the story he help me bring back my husband to me under four days and to my greatest surprise he prophesied and said I we have my own child and celebrate with others as a mother, am three months pregnant now and my husband is now with me without any problem, please viewers help me to thank Dr. Moses Iyere for making my home a happy one. Please contact Dr. Moses Iyere at (thegodsofsolution@gmail.com) he is a good man and a prophet, he can help.
you in any kind of problems please don’t pass this email address if you really want your problems to be solved thanks..
Hello Am Steward Santana from the United State of America, I promise to share this wonderful thing Dr ikuku did for me, After my love Donald broke up with me for the past 2 years I tried all my possible best to get Donald back but I failed then I decided to leave everything to Almighty God to handle but God never failed me, it was a faithful day when I was just in a garden listen to the radio with my cell phone, Then a program came up (How I got my ex) but I never really focused on the program, Was just only interested in the cool blues they where playing.So the program went on well, And everything was just going on well on the program then I saw people testifying in the good name of this great spell caster called Dr ikuku, Then I focused well and listen an I saw ladies testifying how Dr ikuku brought back there ex with 24/36 hours, Instantly I decided to contact Dr ikuku for help and shared him with my problem, And when I did he just started laughing and said this is not a problem that everything would be sorted out within 36 hours I was like wow, is this really I never doubted him because I said if it was a lie people won’t talk about him on an international radio station, Then I sent him some few details, What even made me had the greatest shock was that my lover came to my arms before 36 hours, Am just so over whelmed and I have promised to sponsor that program all because of Dr ikuku, Please don’t fall in the hands of fake spell caster’s and always watch this program (How I got my ex)You can contact Dr ikuku on ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348034458597.
Greetings to everybody out there my name is Laura am over whelmed of what dr okpa did for me, I want to use this opportunity to thank him and testify the great work he did for me I never believed that spells do work until dr okpa showed me that spells do work by bringing back my lover who left me 3year within 24hours, indeed this man is great what would I have done without his help, I was in love with a boy named Anthony I loved this boy so much that I do used my school fees to pay or his bills Anthony loved me too, but suddenly he was no longer the Anthony I know he suddenly changed and he no longer eat my food and he no longer have sex with me, I never knew he was dating a girl in his new working place, until a day came he told me that he is sick and tired of all the relationship I was so surprised because I never did anything to him, mean while when Anthony got this new job he told me about a girl there that this girl is very nice but I look it as a human appreciation but I never knew that Anthony heard a planned so when Anthony told me that he is tired of the relationship he told me to leave his house I pleaded with him but he never agreed with me, that was how I was forced to leave his house, I have not been my self since we broke up because I love him so much, last week I was waching television when I saw a man named Harry was giving testimony on the television on how dr okpa helped him bringing back his wife, I was so shocked because I have never taught that such powers can help in getting back love, so that was how I contacted him and told him my problem the only thing dr okpa told me was that my love will be back to my arms within 24 hours when I heard this I was so surprised and I waited in the next 24 hours incredibly I heard a knock on my door the next thing I could see was Anthony he went on his knees and started pleading to me that he was very sorry for what he did to me, that I should forgive him that the girl in his working placed used some powers over him that know the girl called him and told him that she don’t want any more suddenly he regained his self, and now he is ready to stay with me and that we will have to move to another state here in the usa to stay so that we can leave together in peace and in love, so that was how I accepted him and we move from chicago to las vegas in Nevada and now we living happily than ever before and am happy now, if you need dr okpa’s help you can contact via okpatempleosolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186.
I am giving this testimony because l am happy.
My name is Miss Tricia. Collins from Houston, taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once. when I went to Africa in March this year on a business summit. I ment a man called dr.ONOSE.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone, misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony because the man I had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because our relationship has been on for 2 years… I really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when I met this spell caster, I told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first I was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but I just gave it a try. and in 6 days when I returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it because the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all I wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address tempelslolutionhome@yahoo.com.
My name is SHARON I want to thank my friend for showing me the way to OGBU BABA temple where all my sorrow was turn to joy. I was in a relationship for 12 years and suddenly a mistake came into it from my side, I could not conceive any baby but I tried to beg my man telling him that every thing will be alright but he refuse to listen and he left me for another woman every day I cry for for thing to change but no change.Until my friend told me about a spell caster that help her when she was having the same problem like mine but I did not believed in her, cause I don’t also believe spell caster until I choose to accepted it. This man told me what I need to do so that my man will come and I will conceive a child after doing them my man came back to me to apologize the way this spell caster told me and am five months pregnant now and we are both happy now. I am using this opportunity to inform you all that this is the greatest thing that have ever happen to us. contact and trust in him cause with him all your problems will solve, please contact him through his email address ogbubabaspellcaster@yahoo.com.
Hello my name is Jason Yee I want to let you people no that there are real spell caster who use GOD power to help people when I lost my fiance the great spell caster that help me to get her back for is dr ogogodu that use the power of GOD to help people so I was in love with my fiance we live happily so one day she now came from work and told that she was tried that she was hungry I now cook for her so the next I was planing to propose to her when she now come for work she told me that she did not want to have anything with me So I ask her why she told me that she have fine her turn lover so I told that I love her that I can do anything for her I told her that if I did something wrong that she should forgive me she now told me I have don not wrong I told her that I want to propose to her she say that I should keep the ring for another girl that she is no longer interested she now left me so I was contacting a lot of fake spell caster who scam me so I told my friend now told me the greatest spell caster in USA is dr ogogodu who have help a lot of people in USA so I told my friend to give me is my told me that he does not have it so he told me that the spell caster that always call is contact every Friday on the radio so I now waited on friend when I herd a lot of people thank this great man how he help then in different way so I now have is contact him so he now told me that I should not worry that my lover is going to come back to me in the next 24hours so to my greatest surprise I saw my fiance coming to my house cry that I should forgive her so now I am happy with my fiance now so I want to let people that there is no spell caster in world he is not like the rest fake spell caster he is a man that GOD give people to help people so I just want to let people no that this man is a great so if you need is help contact him with this email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or ogogodutempleofsolution@hotmail.com or call him with this number +2348078999655 so I don’t want people to suffer before getting is contacting so thank for reading.
I am giving this testimony because l am happy.
My name is mrs. Deborah Collins from Houston, taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once. when I went to Africa in March this year on a business summit. I ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone, misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony because the man I had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because our relationship has been on for 2 years… I really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when I met this spell caster, I told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first I was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but I just gave it a try. and in 6 days when I returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it because the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all I wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com.
Great Atakpo I thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you I would have been losted and wasted thank you.
please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay..
What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com