Who do you look to to make your life happy and fulfilling? Are they making the grade?
There are some people to whom you really shouldn’t delegate responsibility for your happiness. Don’t worry – there are only five.
1. Your spouse
You’ve committed yourself to your spouse for life. Doesn’t that entitle you to their undying efforts to keep you happy?
Thankfully, no.
Relying on your spouse to keep your happiness butterflies a-flutter is too much of a burden on them. Plus, it denies you one of the most valuable skills there is: the ability to make yourself happy.
Enjoy the ways your spouse contributes to your happiness, but don’t expect them to be its only source.
2. Your children
Isn’t it every parent’s hope to raise capable, independent children?
The way you are with them will affect the way they are in the world. Are you modeling self-responsibility or leaning a little too hard?
3. Your parents
This one tends to get inverted, with people not so much expecting parents to make them happy as blaming parents for their unhappiness.
Let’s face it though: blame is the flip-side of responsibility. If you’re blaming, you’re dodging responsibility.
However good, bad or hideous your parents were in the past, don’t let that stop you grabbing the baton and changing to a happier direction today.
4. Your employer or boss
It’s a shocking truth for any employee to face, but your personal conveniences and preferences are unlikely to be integral to your employer’s mission statement.
They are responsible for shareholders’ happiness. You are responsible for yours.
5. Your friends
As Mr T never said (but should have), “I pity the fool who expects their friends to make them happy”. Because the friends don’t stay around too long.
As with the preceding relationships, it’s too much pressure on the other person to be responsible for your happiness. Share your joys and sorrows with friends, but don’t outsource your personal fulfillment.
In short
Develop the skills of happiness for yourself – it’s a benefit to others and an asset to you. Why would you want to leave that to anyone else?
Related stuff:
- Article: How To Be Happier
- Post: 11 Great Reasons To Be Happy
- 52 Missions: Get Organized Mission #7 | Be Happy!
Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/ / CC BY 2.0
This is a great reminder that you are the one who holds the steering wheel of your life.
So needed thus gentle reminder today, however, as I’m the one in charge of my own destiny, I don’t I’ll change my course of action. Hoping it’ll make me happier in the long run 🙂
So needed this ‘gentle’ reminder today.
Nice one!
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Hi Heather,
When you can’t show everyone how miserable you are it kinda takes the ‘fun’ out of it. A great reminder!
Thanks 🙂
M
It’s a great reminder that you’re the one who runs the ship!
Great post! So many people don’t realize (or want to!) that everything, INCLUDING happiness is a choice!
Since my youngest was a toddler he would stomp & shout (lip out): You made me mad! I would reply, “no, I did something that you didn’t like. It’s up to you whether to be or stay mad!” I would also follow that with “you have every right to feel how ever you choose, but you don’t have the right to take it out on anyone else. So feel free to go be mad in your room until your done!” LOL!
He never stayed there more than 3 minutes!
Thanks for sharing!:)
RT @ThomScott: RT @TferThomas 5 People Who Aren’t Responsible For Your Happiness – http://TwitPWR.com/kZS/ [a 6th- The Government] <AMEN!
RT @TferThomas 5 People Who Aren’t Responsible For Your Happiness – http://TwitPWR.com/kZS/ [a 6th- The Government]