How to be Organized in 2009: Day 10 – Relationships

The 12 Days of New Year’s Resolutions

This is Day 10 of The 12 Days of New Year’s Resolutions for Better Personal Organization

I’m spending 12 days posting ideas for new year’s resolutions you might like to choose for yourself. Each day focuses on a different life area.

Remember: go for progress, not perfection.

Following is an edited extract from the introduction to Module 10: My Relationships in Get Organized Wizard for Smart Women.

Day 10: Organize your Relationships

Relationships are fundamental to human beings. We can be nurtured, fulfilled and supported by our connections with our loved ones, our friends, and even the colleagues we work and spend so much time with.

On the other hand, relationships that go sour can upset everything, draining us of energy, depriving us of sleep, even making us bitter.

When we stop and think about what’s most important to us, we often say ‘relationships’. Yet when do we proactively take inventory of our relationships, or consciously think about ways to improve them?

Why not devote some thought and time to organizing these all-important aspects of life. Let’s get organized…

Nurturing special relationships

Most of us have relationships that hold a special place in our hearts – perhaps a partner, children, special friends, or a close sibling.

If there’s room for improvement in your special relationships, consider:

• How to address the challenge or opportunity
• The other person’s perspective
• Their good qualities
• Ways you’ve dealt successfully with relationships in the past
• Areas for discussion with the person.

Dealing with energy-draining relationships

What about people who consistently leave you drained and exhausted? Instead of suffering in silence or getting mad, for each ‘energy-drainer’ in your life, consider:

• What exactly drains you
• Whether it’s short or long-term (ie, whether it will sort itself out in time)
• How you could act differently
• What you could say
• How you could reduce the time you spend with the person.

Enhancing relationship skills

It’s wise to keep plenty of focus on yourself in relationship-improvement thinking – since that’s the only person you have any real control over!

• Meeting new people
  Target shyness, becoming more outgoing, initiating conversations, inviting people out socially, going out more yourself and being open with people you meet.
• Unhelpful relationship beliefs
  Become aware of beliefs that might interfere with your relationships (eg that people always let you down, or that you need someone to make you happy), and brainstorm more helpful ones.
• Communicating better
  Would it help your relationships if you were to be more open, trusting or appreciative? Do you need to work on managing anger, listening better or criticizing less?
• Handling conflict
  Some conflict is inevitable, but you could focus on expressing yourself clearly, staying rational, understanding the other person, clarifying, asking for what you want, and apologizing.
• Being more independent or assertive
  If you want more independence you might like to work on taking responsibility, relying more on yourself, learning to live without others’ approval and saying ‘no’ nicely.
• Getting help
  If you feel you’d like more help, consider options like books, courses, talking with a friend, seeking counseling/therapy alone or with a partner, or a couples’ course.

Question: What area of your Relationships will you work on in 2009?

Note for users of My Relationships Wizard and Get Organized Wizard for Smart Women

Your Wizard contains guided worksheets for each one of these items, plus others, as well as additional prompts, ideas and suggestions to help you organize each one.

Tomorrow – Day 11: Time Management

Picture adapted from image by Aldon.

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