*NEW* Moving to a New Platform for Courses & Programs
We’re moving all our programs over to a new platform - see this blog post for full details.
As an existing customer you qualify for a free upgrade.
To access your free upgrade please visit this page to get your upgrade link.
Welcome to Day 9.
It’s not my clutter that’s the problem, you say, it’s all their crap.
Today let’s see what we can do about OPS – other people’s stuff….
If you’ve purchased this program or are a Premium Subscriber please log in to see more information below.
Click here to learn more about this program. // Click here to learn more about the Premium Subscription.
Our group responses are as follows: Organize & de-clutter your own things first. If you are allowing your adult children or friends to store items at your home charge a small monthly fee for the use of your space. Have a written agreement if they do not pay after a period of time the items become yours & you can remove the items from your home.
Children living at home need to keep their items in their space. They need to take responsibility to keep it organized & tidy.
I love the “getting your own stuff sorted”, I hope that leading by example means that the OPS will naturally follow suit, or at the very least will be positively influenced/improved by what is in my control to sort out! Love it!
I live alone so this one is also easy for me. However, I have a new boyfriend and I can already see he’s contributing to my mess. Although I cannot imagine this ever happening I MIGHT be able to clear out a drawer in my chest of drawers for him to put stuff in he wants to leave at my place. REVOLUTIONARY!
OPS goes out of my way! I need to focus on my own due cluttering for now.
Focus on my own De-cluttering for now….. Crazy spell-check cluttered my response! Hehe!
Well, since first posting, I got rid of a lot of the stuff I labeled as OPS. I sent some visiting family members home with a large shopping bag and box of goodies – freebies, samples, cheapies, extras, and a gift I had received that, while lovely, I do not need. It was all stuff they already use or can use, so everyone is happy 🙂 The remaining OPS is stuff I plan to donate, although I will go through the stash to see if there’s stuff that is better off being tossed. And I am slowly but surely re-training myself not to accept (or buy) something just because it’s free (or cheap), or because a friend or family member might like it.
These are excellent options for sharing space with others 🙂 A few I have tried that worked well: I have found that the kitchen is the easiest room to keep clean, and the easiest to let slide into chaos. A kitchen should look the same when you walk out as it did when you walked in. In other words, I should not be able to tell what my roommate had for breakfast or dinner (by the dishes in the sink or the pizza box by the garbage), whether he ran out of milk (by the carton on the counter). Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s our mess in a kitchen and what’s not – this hard-line method seems harsh but it actually simplifies everything 🙂 For the rest of the house, I have a few stock comments: “If you don’t want me to move it when I clean, don’t leave it in the common areas.” or “Your stuff (hobbies/books/laundry) is on your bed – I had to move it when I was dusting/vacuuming/etc. If there is a reason to move their clutter I’m not the bad guy, and the clutter does slowly lessen – no-one likes other people touching their stuff 🙂 I also have weekly cleaning routines that are run in 10-15 min segments. I purposely spread these over the week to allow these comments to happen often. There is also my favourite justification: “I don’t ask you to clean (cause I’m faster and like it done my way) but I don’t clean around clutter, it takes too long.” (great when I sweep a bathroom counter into a drawer)
These are excellent options for sharing space with others 🙂 A few I have tried that worked well: I have found that the kitchen is the easiest room to keep clean, and the easiest to let slide into chaos. A kitchen should look the same when you walk out as it did when you walked in. In other words, I should not be able to tell what my roommate had for breakfast or dinner (by the dishes in the sink or the pizza box by the garbage), whether he ran out of milk (by the carton on the counter). Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s our mess in a kitchen and what’s not – this hard-line method seems harsh but it actually simplifies everything 🙂 For the rest of the house, I have a few stock comments: “If you don’t want me to move it when I clean, don’t leave it in the common areas.” or “Your stuff (hobbies/books/laundry) is on your bed – I had to move it when I was dusting/vacuuming/etc. If there is a reason to move their clutter I’m not the bad guy, and the clutter does slowly lessen – no-one likes other people touching their stuff 🙂 I also have weekly cleaning routines that are run in 10-15 min segments. I purposely spread these over the week to allow these comments to happen often. There is also my favourite justification: “I don’t ask you to clean (cause I’m faster and like it done my way) but I don’t clean around clutter, it takes too long.” (great when I sweep a bathroom counter into a drawer)
I have two main bug bears for other people’s stuff. The first is that my house is being renovated and my dad has an awful lot of tools at our house in order to help with that. The second is that my partner has a crazy collection of computer paraphernalia and is also incredibly bad with his own paperwork. To be fair I think I can be accused of having previously nagged them both. So I like the idea of trying to inspire them or helps them, or if all else fails bribe them. I think it’s the latter that will be the winner!
I have two main bug bears for other people’s stuff. The first is that my house is being renovated and my dad has an awful lot of tools at our house in order to help with that. The second is that my partner has a crazy collection of computer paraphernalia and is also incredibly bad with his own paperwork. To be fair I think I can be accused of having previously nagged them both. So I like the idea of trying to inspire them or helps them, or if all else fails bribe them. I think it’s the latter that will be the winner!
I’ve found bribery to be a pretty good way for everyone to get what they want. 🙂
My OPS problem is my parents! My mum still insists on sifting through everything I throw! She’ll deny till she’s blue in the face that she’s not a hoarder, but that’s not true. Any suggestions? I’ve resorted to throwing things out covertly – I sneak it out of the house into my car and and into a SVDP box; sweat dripping down my brow, riddled with guilt!
Does your mum live with you Mare?
If not, then simply dispose of your donations/trash without discussion. You’re an adult and need to find your own peace with stuff.
If so, then you may need to have a conversation with her about the fact that you’re an adult and need to find your own peace with stuff. And if that fails, then a covert operation to Vinnies is definitely called for.
No picture for today, because the roomie’s stuff is not a problem. This challenge is about my stuff and me.
Thank you Ellen-I l live alone also-so I took your cue and finally gathered all the “for donation” boxes into one-and will drop it off tomorrow on the way home from work. I put it in my trunk already so no excuse.
I’ve been one to nag a bit. My husband has an extreme paper clutter problem. I’ve offered many, many times to help him sort through it. He immediately brings up my clutter when I do this, but I remind him my paper work is under control. I don’t nag him about other clutter because I have the same problem with getting rid of things. When you mentioned the bit about acknowledging the progress made, I immediately thought of my husband’s old habit. He used to stuff receipts into every nook and cranny of the house! Inside drawers, in flower vases, in between the sofa cushions! He stopped doing this! Thankfully! I’ll have to let him know I’ve come to notice this to encourage him. Hopefully that will lead him to round up all of that other paper clutter.
If you both have clutter problems Lety then he can deflect his issues by pointing at yours. The best thing you can do is sort out all your own clutter and feel fabulous about that. Seriously, HE WILL WANT SOME OF THAT. 🙂
I’ve tried with little success as well. For example, we have an area near our door where my husband drops EVERYTHING…..he gets mad if I pick up “his stuff”, so I only pick up my own. But it’s the first place people see when they come into our home, and it’s a big mess. I’ve tried putting baskets there, asking that he would drop his things into a basket, but he will not. Any other ideas?
Sounds like it’s a freedom/control issue so you’re not going to succeed there, at least not directly. You may need to develop a blind spot about that area and focus on places you can have more success. Over time he may change on his own, but your attempts to change that behavior will make him dig his heels in.
When visitors arrive tell them it’s your husband’s special place for treasures and laugh.
Our biggest problem here is years of stuff that’s never been thrown away. Now that the children are grown and on their own, I’m trying to make it fun to discard by “curating” their stuff and then asking them to decide what stays and what goes by “theme.” Yesterday I gathered up our daughter’s old prom gowns, sparkly beaded items and other items that seem fancy. She’ll have a chance to pick out what to keep or donate, and hopefully have fun doing it.
What a nice idea, Sharon. And PS, you’ll be teaching your kids good habits. Better late than never!
What a nice idea, Sharon. And PS, you’ll be teaching your kids good habits. Better late than never!
I live alone so OPS is not a problem. So what I did is expand this task where OPS includes things I’m planning to donate to charity and things I’m hanging onto that I plan to give away, i.e. stuff I acquired through impulse buys or samples/freebies I got to give to friends/family who might like them. I tend to throw all that stuff in boxes and bags and forget about them or get too busy to call for the charity to pick up. Meanwhile it just takes up space and gathers dust. It’s hard for me to say not to a freebie but I’m learning to stop collecting/accepting non-gift items that I personally cannot use. And because of Michele’s words of wisdom from the Day 2 Declutter 1 task, I realized I can give myself permission to let go of stuff ‘imperfectly’.
Great way to adapt today’s challenge for yourself, Ellen! Love the imperfection too. 🙂
Ellen, that has been my biggest help from the course, as well. I’m saying “I’ll do better next time” a lot! It’s empowering when facing the need to let go of “perfectly good stuff.”
Thanks, Michele. I want to be merciless when it comes to decluttering and this program is helping a lot 🙂
Sharon A Stone Sharon, yes, I agree! I’m going to borrow your “‘lll do better next time! Thanks 🙂
Michele Connolly Thanks, Michele. I want to be merciless when it comes to decluttering and this program is helping a lot 🙂
I’ve tried 1- 6 on a regular basis over the last few years, with little success. At times it has made me very upset, thinking that we have a perfectly good spare room and garage that could be so USEABLE, yet, in their present state, just a waste of space. Thank you Michele for Step 2 – I just need to shut the doors and appreciate that 80% of my home is well on the way to being organised, neat and easy to clean.
However, that brings me to the next question. Seeing as I am the one who does most, well all, of the inside housework, what do I do about cleaning these spaces, which frankly, I can’t really access due to the clutter!
Same here. I’ve tried all of these with family members. My young adult daughters (despite nagging, bribery, zones, etc.) still prefer to leave their shoes (of which they own too many) in the kitchen (I’ve asked them to leave them in the laundry room – no go) and their STUFF on the kitchen counter. Unfortunately for me this is a high traffic area and no way I can NOT see it. So I’ve taken to nearly daily removal where I put their shoes in the laundry room and their stuff in a bin. Not sure what else might work.
When my children were little, I said things like “counters are for cooking; how will this taste in soup?”, “these shoes are lost and need help finding their closet,” etc. (light-hearted reminders). We used timers for all-family pick-ups. I’m hoping to learn some tips/tricks for dealing with adults (my own grown children/other family members) who leave their stuff all over.
Cheri and Brenda, it’s a tough one. You need to find the solution that motivates your child – and they’ll all have different touch points. Little ones are easier to engage because they can get carried away in the fun of it all. The older ones, well – it’s a can of worms! Cheri, perhaps instead of putting everything away for them you could take the stuff to the child’s space. Put it on their bed/in their room/ in the chair they like to watch tv in. That makes them responsible for where it goes next – hopefully not back to your kitchen counter!
Well, since I can’t teach my cat to put her toys away, clean her litterbox, or feed herself, I guess I’m on my own for this one! I’m going to do some more decluttering (and maybe throw away a few cat toys while I’m at it).
Good strategy, Jen!
Good strategy, Jen!